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09-18-2010, 01:23 PM | #21 |
Maniac Drummer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,017
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Thank you Rory
OMG George Carlin is the best. He is 1 and I miss him
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09-18-2010, 05:26 PM | #22 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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09-19-2010, 09:50 AM | #23 | |||||||||||
Maniac Drummer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,017
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Gabriel Iglesias
Love this guys, he is awesome
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10-01-2010, 03:11 PM | #24 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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The Kite
The Kite
He was in his back yard trying to fly a kite. He threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. He tried this a few more times with no success. All the while his wife was watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opened the window and yelled to him, 'You need more tail.' He turned and said, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.' |
10-12-2010, 11:05 PM | #25 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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Sharpen Up!
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10-13-2010, 04:38 AM | #26 |
Maniac Drummer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,017
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lol that one made me laugh, TY
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10-13-2010, 10:14 AM | #27 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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Yeah i laughed quite abit from this one also, the guy just could not figure it out.....lmao
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10-22-2010, 12:58 PM | #28 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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Early Halloween funnie
Early Halloween funnie
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 'IMPOSSIBLE!' said the groom broom. Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; This is going to hurt!! 'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!' ............. .......................... Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan. Life's too short not to enjoy... Sounds to me like she's...! ...been ...sweeping around!!! |
11-16-2010, 10:46 PM | #29 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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A Mainlander was driving down the highway
A Mainlander was driving down the highway
A Mainlander was driving down the highway and he ran over a rabbit. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what's up. Mainlander: "I'm here visiting your fair province and I seem to have killed one of your land rodents." Newfie looks down and sees the dead rabbit. Newfie: "No problem, b'y. Hang'er down a few." Newfie goes to his truck and returns with an aerosol spray can. He empties the spray over the rabbit. He then chucks the empty can into the ditch and sez "There ya go, me son. Enjoy yer stay." He gets in his truck and is gone. The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet and he's gone into the woods. The Mainlander was astounded!! Wondering what the Newfie did, he got the can out of the ditch and read the label, which said: "Hair spray. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" |
11-16-2010, 10:47 PM | #30 |
Electric
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 167
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Bad news, good news, great news
Bad news, good news, great news
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the Mounties. "Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first." The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her." Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???" The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow." |
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