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Old 09-18-2010, 01:23 PM   #21
Doz
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Thank you Rory

OMG George Carlin is the best. He is 1 and I miss him
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Old 09-18-2010, 05:26 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doz View Post
Thank you Rory

OMG George Carlin is the best. He is 1 and I miss him

You're very welcome, yes George is and always will be the best, i followed him for over 35 yrs, sadly missed.
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:50 AM   #23
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Gabriel Iglesias

Love this guys, he is awesome








Jokes.com
Gabriel Iglesias - Roller Coasters
comedians.comedycentral.com
Gabriel Iglesias VideosGabriel Iglesias TourBuy tickets to the New York Comedy Festival
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Old 10-01-2010, 03:11 PM   #24
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Default The Kite

The Kite

He was in his back yard trying to fly a kite.

He threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.

He tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while his wife was watching from the kitchen window,

Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opened the window and yelled to him,

'You need more tail.'

He turned and said,

'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
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Old 10-12-2010, 11:05 PM   #25
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Icon10 Sharpen Up!

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Old 10-13-2010, 04:38 AM   #26
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lol that one made me laugh, TY
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Old 10-13-2010, 10:14 AM   #27
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Yeah i laughed quite abit from this one also, the guy just could not figure it out.....lmao
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Old 10-22-2010, 12:58 PM   #28
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Default Early Halloween funnie

Early Halloween funnie

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE!' said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself;

This is going to hurt!!

'WE HAVEN'T EVEN

SWEPT TOGETHER!'

............. ..........................

Oh for goodness sake...

Laugh, or at least groan.
Life's too short not to enjoy...

Sounds to me like she's...!
...been ...sweeping around!!!
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:46 PM   #29
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Default A Mainlander was driving down the highway

A Mainlander was driving down the highway

A Mainlander was driving down the highway and he ran over a rabbit. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what's up.

Mainlander: "I'm here visiting your fair province and I seem to have killed one of your land rodents."

Newfie looks down and sees the dead rabbit.

Newfie: "No problem, b'y. Hang'er down a few."

Newfie goes to his truck and returns with an aerosol spray can. He empties the spray over the rabbit. He then chucks the empty can into the ditch and sez "There ya go, me son. Enjoy yer stay." He gets in his truck and is gone.

The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet and he's gone into the woods.

The Mainlander was astounded!! Wondering what the Newfie did, he got the can out of the ditch and read the label, which said: "Hair spray. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave"
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:47 PM   #30
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Default Bad news, good news, great news

Bad news, good news, great news

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the Mounties.
"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."
The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her."
Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"
The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
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